Frankenhooker

Frankenhooker (1990)

Director: Frank Henenlotter

Writer: Frank Henenlotter, Robert Martin

Stars: Patty Mullen, James Lorinz, Joanne Ritchie

My Two-Cents:

Back in the diz-ay (70's and 80's) film makers could get away with making films that were say...let''s call them "different". You had Charles Band, The Chido brothers, and Roger Corman of course. Yeah, their films were usually low budget and sleazy, but they were also very different from much of what was out there at the time. The concept behind some of their flicks was just off the friggin wall. Frank Henenlotter may have been the most off the wall of them all.

Henenlotter had an interesting imagination. I use the word interesting, but others may call it sick. His films are bizarre to say the least and were usually over the top and very tongue in cheek. You got lot's of catsup, a pleasing amount of naked chicks, and a pretty fucked up story. All done on an amazing low budget, and it usually showed.

Having done "Basketcase" and then "Brain Dead", Ol'Frank decided to tackle a classic, but give it a fresh....uh...unique spin. He'd take Frankenstein and turn it into a love story involving a reanimated hooker. That shit just writes it's self!

As mentioned before, Henenlotter's films are way over the top. No exception here. So don't go into this bitch expecting a finely tuned horror. This is Schlock in all it's glory. Expect to laugh at the absurdity that ensues.

Here's the dirt: Jeffery Franken (Like Frankenstein...duh!) and Elizabeth Shelly (Like Mary Shelly, the chick who wrote "Frankenstein".) are two groovy lovebirds who are engaged. The film starts with the couple at a party for Elizabeth's father. All is going well, Jeffery is doing his mad scientist thing while Elizabeth bitches about being over weight (Mullen's in a fat suit...I guess.), when tragedy strikes. While presenting her father with a gift in the form of a remote control lawn mower that Jeffery built, poor Elizabeth accidently runs herself over. Thus she dies young but doesn't leave a beautiful corpse as she is chopped into bite size morsels.

Jeffery isn't ready to let go of her yet though, he loves Elizabeth and damn'it, he's gonna find a way to bring her back! So he makes off with her head and a few other pieces of Elizabeth that he found strewn about the yard after the accident and begins working on a plan to bring her back. He hit's a snag though when he discovers that he's gonna need spare parts to make this shit happen...spare body parts that is. What's a mad scientist to do? Go find some hookers and give them super crack that causes them to explode thus killing them and then take their body parts, that's what! Why not?

Well our boy Jeffery succeeds and brings his love back, only problem is the hooker parts have warped her mind and turned her into an undead prostitute and you better show her the money first homeboy!

The acting in this is so bad it's funny. You can tell everyone was having a blast and not taking it seriously. That said, James Lorinz and Patty Mullen turn in solid performances and elevate this flick above your average schlockfest. Lorinz pull's off Jeffery's clueless mad scientist perfectly. Your repulsed by him at times cause dude does some questionable shit, but most of the time you feel sorry for the poor smuck. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, but he wants his girl back.

For my money though, Patty Mullen steals the show, and not just because she's fucking smoking hot (But it don't hurt either.). When she becomes Frankenhooker she's so damn quirky that it's hilarious. Somehow she comes off adorable and sexy at the same time, even made up like a corpse. I want me a Frankenhooker. I got ya money right here babygirl!

For some unfathomable reason, Patty retired from acting after this flick. She had made one other flick before this "Doom Asylum" and a couple of tv spots. She also did a nude pictorial in the August 1986 issue of "Penthouse". Word ta big bird! Shame her career ended so soon, girl had talent....uh....acting talent I mean. You filthy McNasty!

Even though there is a ton of messy scene's, there isn't much catsup. It's hard to explain. Look, there is a ton of dismemberments and and other goodies, but the scenes are as dry as an AA meeting. Not much red stuff. Maybe the SFX team didn't have enough coin in the budget for fake blood? Who knows, doesn't matter. It doesn't ruin the film in the least. Yeah, certain scenes would have looked cooler if they let the red stuff fly, but given the type of flick it is, it works either way. The messy scenes are still fun to watch, especially the end, which amps up the "What the fuck!" quotetant very suddenly.

For all my pervs in the Hiz-ouse, yes there is nudity! Lot's of nudity. How's a room full of naked hookers strike ya? If that ain't enough, we get a gander at Mullens undead rack. Yes, they're real and they are spectacular!

For my lusty ladies, you get Joseph Gonzalez running around in muscle shirts showing off his massive physique. Dude's ripped.

"Frankenhooker" is what I like to call a "Saturday Night Special". Ya know, when it's saturday night and ya ain't go shit to do, your turning your UHF dial round and round, screwing with the TV antenna. You just wanna find something to kill two hours with. Something you can crash on your couch with a bowl of stove popped "Readypop" and a six pack of Yuengling, and have some fun with.

If that's the case, this film is perfect for ya. It doesn't require much thought, delivers all the simple pleasures one could ask for ala messy scenes, nudity, and all the camp you can handle. I give this one four blood soaked butcher knives out of five. It's fun, it's different, and Mullen is oh so good to look at.

If all that ain't enough to convince you to give this bitch a spin, I have two words for ya: Exploding Hookers. Nuff said!