The Boogens

The Boogens (1981)

Director: James L. Conway
Writer: Thomas C. Chapman, David O'Malley, Jim Kouf
Stars: Rebecca Balding, Fred McCarren, Anne-Marie Martin

The Skinny:
When a mine that's been closed for almost a century due to an accident is reopened, mutant turtles of the decidedly non-teenage ninja variety are awoken. These sum'a bitches are hungry and they ain't craving pizza.

My Two-Cents:
There's a good chance many of you haven't heard of this SOB, especially if you were still sperm in '81 when it dropped in theaters. That's because this flick has sadly faded into horror obscurity. It flopped in theaters, had a short run on VHS, then faded away quietly until recently when it was re-released on DVD and Blu-ray. This is a damn shame, because this flick deserves so much more recognition ya'll! Good thing obscure horror is Uncle Ani's specialty.
Director James L. Conway makes the best of his low-budget ($600,000) and screenwriters Jim Kauf, who would go on to write "Rush Hour" and "National Treasure" to name a few, and David O'Malley, weaves a good ol'fashioned monster tale based on a story idea by Tracy C. Chapman. I give Conway credit for going this route in a time when slasher flicks ruled the roost. '78 to '83 was the golden age of the knife wielding maniac. This is undoubtedly why this flick flopped. Well...one of the reason's.
I gotta say, for a low-budget horror sporting mostly no name actors, the character development was pretty decent. You don't get that much in horrors. I actually liked the poor saps. This is seriously the films saving grace, as there are stretches where nothing is happening other then character concerns. Also, Conway wisely decides to not show the monsters till the end. (I'll get to that in a minute.)
Anne-Marie Martin, who you may know from the 80's TV series "Sledge Hammer", and Rebecca Balding are very likable, not to mention HAWT! They basically carry the flick. Fred McCarren doesn't do too bad either, but he's basically the run of the mill stud. Jeff Harlan is just fucking annoying and I couldn't wait for him to become turtle chow.
Now I gotta give fair warning, if your looking for a fast paced, bloody monster romp, ya ain't gonna find it here. This is probably another reason this flick didn't do well in theaters. It paces itself, choosing to spend time with the characters and build tension. (Not that they had much of a choice given the budget.) Conway is fairly good at creating an eerie atmosphere and playing with our expectations. The kills are quick though, and the catsup is used sparingly. So my gore-hounds, you'll have to get your jolly's elsewhere. There is some nudity for all my pervs though. Not a lot, but what's there is pretty good. Anne-Marie Martin has a nice ass! Just saying.
Now for the bad. Let me start with the turtles. Like I said, they aren't revealed till the end. Throughout the movie we are treated to a tentacle here, a claw there, and some fucking seriously creepy roars. The rest of the time the monsters are around, we see thing's from they're POV. When they are revealed...well...you suddenly realize why Conway chose to hide them. This was my reaction when I saw the monster for the first time: "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Yeah, it's that bad. Not only are they extremely cheap looking, but the fuckers are actually CUTE! I want one! Boogens are now on my want list, along with Mogwai's and Flying Monkeys. Anyway, don't expect me to show you them, not gonna ruin it for ya, one of the best parts of the fucking thing.
Now, I've been referring to them as turtles, that's because that's what they look like and it's what everyone whose seen this flick calls them. The movie itself, however, never actually tells you what they are, besides Boogens, which as far as I was able to determine via Google, means "unsophisticated and uncivilized". Don't expect many of them either. The characters go on about how there's tons of them. I counted two. This was actually amusing, as the characters are screaming and running as if there is a shit load after them, but all we see is two.
There some plot holes and also dumb moves on the characters parts (Doesn't anyone believe in fucking running?). Especially at the end (That one still irks me.) But given the fact that it's a low-budget horror and that the story and characters are pretty good, it can be forgiven. Nothing so bad it takes away from the over-all story.
In the end, "The Boogens" isn't a bad little go round. Yeah, it can be slow going at times, but the concept is interesting and their are some genuinely creepy moments. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but if you enjoy spooky monster tales and don't mind a slow build, this is one you may want to check out. I give it three bloody butcher knives out of five. Mostly because of the likable characters, and because Conway really tried to give us something different. With a better budget this would have probably been an instant classic, as is, while flawed, it's still a decent flick. Give it a watch my little fucknado's. Nuff said!
Now be vewy vewy quiet....I'm hunting Boogens.